August 21st 2009 (part iv)

The most indelible aspect of our time at the ‘million years stone park’ can’t be pinpointed to one specific event. The tigers were a sight to be seen. The giant catfish scarred me more than fish ever should a man. The crocodiles...well, I think I’ve spoken of my awe and terror enough in their respects. I feel it a waste of time to describe the mediocre lunch we ate, the small shopping we did, or being picked up by a...perhaps there’s always time to indulge my rambling’s. An experience can go from unreal to out worldly in mere moments. Feeding the elephants was amazing enough in itself. We each grabbed a bunch of bananas, the small stubbies that I think are called plantains, and walked up over hesitantly to the marauding masses of fat. I found it interesting that the crocodile was so soft and that the worlds largest land mammal was so course. You can’t judge a book by its cover. It’s skin was rough and prickly. The hairs chaffed the skin immediately on contact. It had leathery sad skin that looked like it belonged on a depression era Okie. I couldn’t tell if they were as sedated as the tigers. They seemed a bit subdued, then again, I had always learnt that Asian elephants were far easier to break than their wild and un-domesticatable counter-parts in Africa. It definitely gave you a lonesome feeling, to see them chained around the ankle, held by a chain to a large stake in the ground. Feeding them was, interesting to say the least. I’d say they ate quicker than Greg and I could ever dream. As soon as you were done handing their oddly controllable trunk a banana it seemed to disappear into their mouths and be replaced, empty. Their wandering giant finger, hungry, always, for more. They were akin to a crack-fiend, never satisfied with the latest score. My favorite part was, hands down, feeding the baby. When I say ‘baby’ you must understand it was still larger than most horses. It seemed more playful though, more approachable by far, than its larger twins. I’ll admit, I really wanted to give it a big hug. It was the giant living stuffed animal I had always wanted from the zoo as a kid. When you go to the wild animal park as a child it seemed amazing to be so close to elephants. Previous encounters were only on tv, so being within seeing distance of the gentle brutes was amazing. Being this close brought me back to child-hood days again. Those of you who know me could call me a big kid...you should have seen me feeding the little critter! You know that joyful laugh you get sometimes, guttural but from the heart? The genuine laugh that can never be reproduced for a camera? Well, I was full of it. Something about the hungry lad scarfing unlimited bananas down his mouth brought me nothing but pure elation. Kelly decided to go for it. I was a little more hesitant. I found out that in Thailand elephants are not allowed to work. At one point-in-time their muscular bodies were overly exploited and life expectancy fell drastically. In today’s, dare I say modern, Thailand you’d be happy to know they’re only for entertainment and if you buy one, you have to own it for life. One elephant to one master. The two had a bond that eclipsed any human-animal relationship I had encountered before. I love my cat, but I often doubt if it loves me back. The master loved his pet, it brought him money and, no doubt, joy. The elephant loved his pet, it fed, washed, and took care of him. The mutually beneficial relationship was clear, although the emotions the two shared for one another still escapes me. Kelly paid one of the masters and he proceeded to shout and bark orders in Thai at one of the larger ones that was presumably his own. Did this thing speak Thai? It didn’t need to be whipped or scolded, pushed and bumped in the right direction. With a few simple voice commands the creature bumbled closer to poor frail Kelly. I must admit, I was a bit nervous. Quicker than you could imagine the elephant stuck out its long muscular trunk and picked Kelly up as if she were a piece of straw. It could have thrown her to the moon without a moments hesitation. She was 6 feet in the air being held up by the trunk of an Asiatic elephant. Did I just write that sentence? It feels fake when I think back to the day. I wasn’t about to look like a sissy, although my deeper natural instincts were still concerned that my brain had lost all forms of reason after sitting on that crocodile. It was so quick. Like jumping off a rock into water. Blood drained from my brain at the speed the massive creature picked me up. It was strange how much control it had over me, I didn’t need to balance or hold on. Kelly had decided to be picked up elegantly, like a lady, sitting gently on it trunk as she wafted in the air. I, however, decided to go the more perverted route and opted to have the trunk lift me up and present itself in a very straightforwardly phallic position. I was being picked up by an elephant and making a big wang joke at the same time? Do I even need to explain my pure bliss? More laughter. Although this time it may have been of a more sadistic nature. What? If my version of a great time doesn’t suit yours, than perhaps I should move on to the nights revelries. After a short break we decided to have a night out on the town in Pattaya. Let me tell you it didn’t take long to find the meaning behind the saying that I kept hearing throughout our days there... ‘good boys go to heaven, bad boys go to Pattaya’...