August 21st 2009 'dream within a dream'

Was this man for real. His silly red jumpsuit didn't fool me... did he really think he had magic powers? There I was, middle of the afternoon, at the Pattaya crocodile farm starring at a mid 20's Thai man about to stick his fucking head down the throat of a ten foot crocodile. It's like people who go to the races, you don't want to see one, but in the back of your mind you hope to witness some horrific crash. I was about to watch a man become decapitated. This lumbering dinosaur was about to rip his head clean off...and to think the idiot was doing it willingly... seconds felt like days as I watched him slowly arc his neck into the beasts mouth. There was no safety net, no precautions, no one there to help him if the beast got an itch on its massive mayonnaise colored tongue. I felt a rip in my stomach. I was a million times more frightened than this cocky Thai son-of-a-bitch. Is this how he makes his living? life between 400 hundred razor sharp teeth. Only an hour before I had fished for Crocodile in a giant lake, dead chickens tied by strings to the end of bamboo sticks were offered for only 70 cents a piece. Amazing what the U.S. dollar could get you in this country. Hanging off a dock we played with them, smacking them in their giant reptilian noses, trying vainly to get some action out of the gigantic beasts. The noise they made when they erupted from the water. it was never the crocodile you hung the chicken in front of, his unknown partner always lurked beneath the water and lurched out at your unsuspecting rod. Had I really 'fished' for crocodiles? The noise of there jaws shutting... like the auto-pitcher at the batting cages, or perhaps more like smacking the metal bottom of a pringles can. it was so powerful, so ferocious, so animalistic...It scarred me shitless! i had teased the beasts only an hour before. Now I was starring at a complete lunatic about to stick his fucking head down one's throat. it's a dream dream dream. This can't be real, no human being would ever actually think they had the magic ability to calm the giant carnivore. No one would willingly stick their fragile human neck down one of these eating machines giant throats...It wasn't quick...it was painfully slow... he left his head on the giants tongue as if it were a soft silk pillow...get the fuck out of there!! you are a complete idiot!!! you're going to die!!!someone stop this raving lunatic!! magic isn't real you harry potter mother fuc ....He survived...confident and smiling the stupid son-of-a-bitch actually lived through it. Trained professional...yeah right, how the hell do you train to become a complete mad-man, only lunacy would drive a man to such lengths... "Okay ladies and gentlemen, for only 100 baht (about 3 bucks) you can come sit on it"... My heart stopped dead in its beats as Kelly and Min both looked at me. 'you gotta go do it George' no no NO NO NO my mind yelled, adrenaline went straight through me. 'come on, no one gets hurt'... yeah no one gets hurt getting in a swimming pool full of 50 swelling monsters from my worst nightmares.........The line of people in front of me slowly dwindled, was I really next?...... It was much longer than 10 feet, it was the size of a god-damn school bus, what's worse? They some how kept the beast sitting there still with it's mouth wide open, teeth displayed ready to rip my soft flesh into a million little pieces. I had paid three dollars to get eaten by some creature that belonged in the Jurassic. This thing wasn't even from our planet..."Here sit, sit , sit, it's okay" They pointed towards it rear legs...I had to clear my mind, I was about to die, I was about to be eaten...goodbye mom I love you...goodbye world and hello fierce beast....I began to crouch over the beast...I was not ready to die..slowly, painfully...this couldn't be real.